Hello again, Dear Reader, I return after an extended absence. Some of this absence I spent on the Upper Amazon (I’m not kidding), but I return refreshed and ready once again to bring you tidings of Doom. The latest sign of the apocalypse is being brought to us by the legislatures of New York and […]

It used to be that calling someone “SWINE!” was a term of opprobrium. But, Dear Reader, those times are rapidly passing. The savants of the Salk Institute (named after the late, great Jonas Salk, who created the polio vaccine) have now given us entry to a brave new world, described in unpleasant detail in “The […]

We can all agree that firearms ownership by most private citizens is completely unnecessary in the light of the lightning response times to 911 calls. Accordingly, we should pass legislation outlawing private firearm ownership except for Certified Terrorists. In order to achieve a Certified Terrorist designation, the applicant must complete an approved Terrorist Training Course, […]

The great mystery of carrier pigeon navigation was solved a few years ago by  ornithologists, who discovered that the birds have iron filings in their heads, and use them to sense the earth’s magnetic field. OK. But a new biological application for magnetic field sensitivity among the lower animals has now been recognized. The journal […]

Hello once again, Dear Reader!  I apologize for my long absence, but I was drawn again into the ignoble pursuit of coin, viz., I had to make a living. But a recent event has drawn me back to the more valuable work of chronicling our civilization’s (sic) demise. I am sure that you recall from […]