We’re doomed! I’m not talking about the kind of doom we usually discuss, the collapse of cultural norms. No, Dear Reader, today we will discuss the “don’t start any long books” kind of doom. A classic movie came out in 1956 called “Forbidden Planet.” True, it did have some tacky aspects. (My favorite line was “Any […]

The topic of the day around the world is Edward Snowden. Is he a hero? Is he a traitor? As usual, Dear Reader, he is both. When he tells us that our  masters are spying on US, he is a hero.  When he tells furriners that we are spying on THEM, he is a traitor. […]

And by “we” I mean “us.” And by “us” I mean “U.S.” That is right, Dear Reader, the United States stinks. “How does the Happy Pessimist know this?” you may ask. Well, I’ll tell you. I know it because our enlightened government tells me so. Dear Leader slithers around the world on his belly, announcing […]

So, Dear Reader, you do not want Big Brother reading your e-mails to your mistress in Dubuque. How unpatriotic of you! Anyway, Dear Leader assures you that he and his minions are not reading your e-mail – they are only collecting addresses of the people with whom you correspond. If you believe that, I have […]

Welcome back, Dear Reader! Today our topic changes direction– literally. What is the meaning of this conundrum? It’s alimentary, Watson (or whatever your name is). Today we examine the intake side of the alimentary tract. We all recall with delight our childhood joys in the Consumables Department. My particular favorite was the Tootsie Pop, a […]