There is no clearer evidence of the collapse of Western Civilization than the return of piracy as an accepted occupation. Of course, we no longer have Blackbeard and Long John Silver, and Bloody Captain Morgan survives now only as the fierce label on a second-rate rum swilled only by the uncouth. But the Barbary Pirates are […]

Anyone who has ever lived in Chicago (such as The Happy Pessimist) is well aware of the fact that just because you’re dead, that doen’t mean that you have to be politically inactive. Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of dead people vote in Cook County in every election. The fraudsters of […]

And you thought you had trouble with the NSA! Ah, Dear Reader, you are living in a fool’s paradise! It turns out that you and your significant other are now being ratted out by your undies. The comfortable seclusion afforded by a cheap motel room or the backseat of your Prius has now been breached […]