“The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.” Damon Runyon coined this cynical modification to the famous “the tortoise and the hare” fable generally attributed to Aesop. (Your interlocutor, The Happy Pessimist, has deduced from the tale that Aesop vastly preferred turtle soup to hasenpfeffer.) However, the key words in Mr. Runyon’s wry comment are “not always.” As civilization crashes about our ears, even the dumb animals are happy to make a mockery of our expectations.

            What, Dear Reader, do you expect to happen when a fox invades a chicken coop? The fox eats the chickens, right? When the chicken coop is located in la belle France, you expect that the fox will dine on coq au vin, n’est pas? Not so fast mon ami. When any event occurs in France, all bets are off. The generally reliable The Guardian informs us (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/mar/12/chickens-teamed-up-to-kill-fox-at-brittany-farming-school) in the case of the chicken coop at the Lycee agricole Le Gros Chene à Pontivy  (Big Oak Farm School) in Brittany, the outcome of the latest fox vs. chicken encounter was chickens 1, fox 0. When a fox invaded the school chicken coop, 300 irate chickens descended upon him/her and pecked him/her to death. Ha ha!

            This bizarre outcome is distressing. The Book of Bad Stuff teaches that when the end approaches, all kinds of weird shit will occur, and chickens prevailing over foxes certainly fits in that category. And if this story is one of the indicia of impending doom, what can we expect next? I can see the headlines now:

            PRIUS DEMOLISHES MACK TRUCK

            97 LB WEAKLING BEATS UFC CHAMPION UNCONSCIOUS

            POLITICIAN CAUGHT PUTTING MONEY INTO CHARITY BASKET

So remember, Dear Reader, the next time Sky Masterson asks you to bet on a fight, pick the chicken.