Fun with Doom

It used to be that calling someone “SWINE!” was a term of opprobrium. But, Dear Reader, those times are rapidly passing. The savants of the Salk Institute (named after the late, great Jonas Salk, who created the polio vaccine) have now given us entry to a brave new world, described in unpleasant detail in “The […]

We can all agree that firearms ownership by most private citizens is completely unnecessary in the light of the lightning response times to 911 calls. Accordingly, we should pass legislation outlawing private firearm ownership except for Certified Terrorists. In order to achieve a Certified Terrorist designation, the applicant must complete an approved Terrorist Training Course, […]

The great mystery of carrier pigeon navigation was solved a few years ago by  ornithologists, who discovered that the birds have iron filings in their heads, and use them to sense the earth’s magnetic field. OK. But a new biological application for magnetic field sensitivity among the lower animals has now been recognized. The journal […]

Hello once again, Dear Reader!  I apologize for my long absence, but I was drawn again into the ignoble pursuit of coin, viz., I had to make a living. But a recent event has drawn me back to the more valuable work of chronicling our civilization’s (sic) demise. I am sure that you recall from […]

Unfortunately, Dear Reader, we have sunk to an unrecoverable low. Doom is not awaiting us- it has already arrived.  The barbarians are not at the gates – they are within the gates, ushered in by Dear Leader. We are being flushed down the toilet. Who are our most ferocious and successful enemies? The Russkies and […]