We’re running out of people. National fertility rates have dropped below the population sustaining level of 2.1 children per woman in virtually every significant ethnic group except for the Indians (the nyaayyaya variety, not the woo-woo-woo variety). There are a variety of causes adduced by experts, but the consensus is that the chief culprits are the unfortuate invention of effective means of birth control, oral and mechanical. and the so-called women’s liberation movement. The upshot of the matter is that the glue that held society together for tens of thousands of years, the female as center of the family, has been dissolved, as women have been enabled (or forced by peer pressure) to forsake their traditional position: barefoot, pregnant, and chained to the sink.

Men aren’t helping. They have decided to become sensitive, caring, gentle; in other words, disgusting wimps. Most guys today couldn’t get laid in a cat house with a fisful of hundred dollar bills.

So, we have a severe deficit of successful fornication. A rational society would be putting Viagra and Clomid in the water along with the fluoride, but try to get THAT past the FDA and the EPA.

Well, we can’t put the genie back in the bottle again, can we? So we are faced with the eventuality that, as our population shrinks, it will also age, and we will soon be a society of geezers and geezerettes, doddering and drooling through quiet, virtually child-free streets.

But this will be fun!

Imagine the Olympics with sports like cane pole vaulting and the three yard dash (three yards being the average distance to a bathroom from the average nonagenarian’s bedroom).

Imagine the new Americans with Disabilities Act requirement that no food served in a public restaurant is permitted to require chewing.

Getting knocked up will complete its transformation from a badge of shame to a badge of honor.

Military conflicts will no longer be based on primitive firearms, but will be fought with flatulent incendiaries.

Logan’s Run, anyone?