The machines are in control. No, not like in Terminator. They are not planning to exterminate us; they are more subtle than that. No, they are making us obsolete. Take Roomba. The little monster scuttles about the room, sweeping up without human intervention. And it learns where everything is, so as not to bump into […]

Despite your mother/wife/children/psychiatrist’s advice, you purchase your organdonorcycle (that’s motorcycle to those of you who insist on burying your heads in the sand), spin out at 276 mph, bounce off a spreading chestnut tree, and are smeared all over the roadway. The ALS (Advanced Life Support) ambulance rolls up, sponges you off the tarmac, squeezes […]

Public Service. Ah, what  a noble phrase! It conjures up images of a virtuous but humble toiler in the vineyards of goodness, bringing succor to the weak and friendless. Yeah, right. In actuality, the toilers exercise their best efforts to oppress the weak and friendless. (As a general principle, this is a pretty good idea. […]

In 1958, a newly minted chanteuse named Connie Francis released her debut album, whose title song was “Who’s Sorry Now?” In this particular case, the singer is expressing refreshing schadenfreude, gleefully telling her former boyfriend, who has just been dumped by his latest light o’ love, that she rejoices in his misery. One feels that […]

Jack Kennedy spent his term so stoned on painkillers to treat his ruptured disk that he approved the Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba. Ronald Reagan spent both of his terms nodding off in jelly-bean-induced comas. Barack Obama spends more time on vacation than he does in the White House. So who actually runs the […]