It is I, your interlocuter, The Happy Pessimist, returning after an extended period of silence. There has been a reason for my prolonged absence. The world is sufficiently out of control that I have been unable to identify anything more outrageous than the ordinary news. So, today, I wax poetic.
\nAll musical comedies are the same. An unbelievably stupid young dolt moons after a raving beauty, and croons a revolting ballad memorializing his confusion. One of my favorites is from \u201cCall Me Madam,\u201d lyrics and music by Irving Berlin. The hit song from this satire on the diplomatic service is \u201cYou\u2019re Just in Love.\u201d It is a duet between the innocent young idiot protagonist and the jaded, corrupt older lady Ambassador. As Irving Berlin wrote it:<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You\u2019re Just In Love (Irving <\/strong>Berlin)<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Dolt:<\/strong><\/p>\n I hear singing and there\u2019s no one there.<\/p>\n I smell blossoms and the trees are bare.<\/p>\n All day long I seem to walk on air.<\/p>\n I wonder why. I wonder why.<\/p>\n I keep tossing in my sleep at night.<\/p>\n And, what\u2019s more, I\u2019ve lost my appetite.<\/p>\n Stars that used to twinkle in the skies now twinkle in my eyes.<\/p>\n I wonder why.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Ambassador:<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n You don\u2019t need analyzin\u2019<\/p>\n It is not so surprisin\u2019<\/p>\n That you feel very strange but nice.<\/p>\n Your heart goes pitter-patter.<\/p>\n I know just what\u2019s the matter<\/p>\n Because I\u2019ve been there once or twice.<\/p>\n Put your head on my shoulder.<\/p>\n You need someone who\u2019s older.<\/p>\n A rubdown with a velvet glove.<\/p>\n There is nothing you can take<\/p>\n To relieve that pleasant ache.<\/p>\n You\u2019re not sick, you\u2019re just in love.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Pathetic.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now, assume with me for a moment that, instead of begging the Ambassador for advice, the Dolt poured out his heart to a Board-Certified neurosurgeon. Then the response would undoubtedly be:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Neurologist:<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n It is more than just a rumor.<\/p>\n You have got a great big tumor.,<\/p>\n Which is quickly eating up your brain.<\/p>\n You have a lousy future.<\/p>\n Your future needs a suture.<\/p>\n You are circling all around the drain.<\/p>\n Put your body on the table<\/p>\n (As long as you\u2019re still able),<\/p>\n While I tell you all about your head.<\/p>\n There is nothing we can do<\/p>\n To preserve the life of you.<\/p>\n Pretty soon you\u2019ll just be dead.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Better, no?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It is I, your interlocuter, The Happy Pessimist, returning after an extended period of silence. There has been a reason for my prolonged absence. The world is sufficiently out of control that I have been unable to identify anything more outrageous than the ordinary news. So, today, I wax poetic. All musical comedies are the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p38V5o-jI","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1222","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1222"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1222\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1223,"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1222\/revisions\/1223"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/funwithdoom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}